Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
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These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
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thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover