YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.