If i come over, it means nothing
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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