Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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