This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
