I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
