Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i permit you to call me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i came on her dog
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
