If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize