remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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