Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
