you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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