If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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