I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
