Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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