dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
