im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
