well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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