Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
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