Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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