My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Last time i carry you out of a forest
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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