sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
