we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
