I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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