That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
