So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize