That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
