): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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