Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
