tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
