I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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