bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Randomize
