I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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