If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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