also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
