How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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