Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
