Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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