Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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