You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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