Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
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Vodka?
Forever.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
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