Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
