i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
