Rock
Scissors
Fuck
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
