Apparently you make a good broom.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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