not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize