I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
