So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
