Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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