I puked a lego.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
