Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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