Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
