So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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