im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
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