Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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