You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
