Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
