Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize